Five Types of Guys you Meet on Dating Apps

Hello beautiful people and happy Monday! During this quarantine, I decided to hop on Hinge since I figured hey I have nothing better to do. I thought maybe since people can’t see each other in person we’ll be more apt to go back to the way it was of when people courted and actually got to know each other before trying to seduce you into their bedroom. It’s been about three weeks now and I can say it’s honestly been a wild ride. I’ve known people who met their fiancés, boyfriends, husbands, etc. off of Tinder and Bumble however my experiences on Tinder have never been positive.

Keri Elaine doorway, pink polka dot marriage beautiful girl

For the sake of this experiment, because that’s what it’s beginning to feel like I decided to post pictures that show off my personality but we’re not in any way sexual. Meaning no bikini pictures even though I’m often traveling to tropical places or around the pool. No club attire and no headshots. In the past, I’ve listed my job as an actor in my profile. From the get-go instead of mentioning my finance day job. This often-brought men who set out to play 21 questions about my job. “Are you really an actor? Well, what would I have seen you in? You seem too fat to be an actor.  Well, how much do you make? You can’t be doing well since you are not based in Los Angeles. Oh, I’m an actor too I’ve been an extra for 3 years.”

While I don’t mind questions, asking some of these right off the bat without trying to get to know me outside of my career seems a bit like a fact-finding interview instead of getting to know a person you potentially want to build a life with. I can’t tell you how many times I have asked a finance bro, engineer, or consultant to explain their job only for them to give me the most basic one-line synopsis. This makes me laugh because I know many people working their exact job, and the descriptions the guys have given me don’t even cover 10 percent of the position. I’ve never felt a need to ask an architect to build a house in front of me to prove that they are in fact who they say they are. So I don’t know why people want comedians and actors to personally preform for them to prove their talent. It feels strange to me. Especially since I am looking for a partner to uplift, laugh, and work through problems that pop up in life, not a competitor or someone insecure.

So why do artists need to justify their success by telling you what shows or exhibitions their work has been featured in that YOU would know. I don’t know you yet, so I don’t know what type of shows you watch and frankly, I don’t know if I care to get to know you if you act this aggressively with strangers.

On Hinge, I listed myself as a finance admin since that is the position I have been working in for the past four years. So far, I’ve met five types of guys. Let’s start with the positive.

5 types of men you meet on dating apps, hinge

1. One of the genuinely nice guys who message you every day and just wanting to get to know you on a human level. They take interest in what you like to read, watch, and what you do when you’re not in a quarantine. I found that these guys are very close to their families and make it a point to call their families at least a couple times a week.

2. The second is the fuck boi. These are the guys that start out saying things like hey beautiful or hey sexy! Which is always a oh no red flag in my book. I say that because usually if someone starts out the conversation based on your looks on a dating app it rapidly progresses to them only asking for nudes literally no conversation just ok sexy so do you have a Snapchat? What’s your number? I would rather text your number than on here. You give them your number and then literally all they will text you is hey it’s fuck boi such and such why don’t you send me a sexy picture of yourself? Come on just do it. Just one of your boobs just for me. Like you are supposed to be flatter than a literal stranger feels entitled to viewing your body before they even know your last name. My response why would I do that I don’t know you? For all I know you could be some 50-year-old fat man sitting in a chair or my friends’ dad.

3. The guy who’s not over his ex. He usually will mention his ex in his profile. Something along the lines of as long as you’re nothing like my ex-girlfriend we will get along fine. Red flag if he’s mentioning his ex in his dating profile he clearly is not over her. These guys usually make comments like as long as you don’t complain about me playing video games or going to the sports bar-like my ex did. Why are you bringing up your ex when you’re on a dating app? If you still are carrying a torch for her shouldn’t you reach out to her for closure or go to therapy. These guys are often kind of misogynistic too and sometimes have expectations in general. Like women should be seen and not heard or speak when spoken to. Women should not complain when I come home late reeking of beer in another woman’s perfume just previous experiences trust me.

4. The people who lie in their profiles. There are a lot of people that have a habit of not fully filling out their profile. For example omitting that they have kids. Then posting a picture of a young child and I’m talking an 8-month-old infant in their photos with some kind of weird caption saying oh ask me about this photo. When you do they say oh this is my son he’s 8 months. All you could think is why don’t you try to work it out with the mother of your child? Instead of bringing another third party into an already potentially chaotic situation? I’m totally fine with the concept of dating someone who has children but you need to be honest from the get-go not hide the fact that you have children from this potential stepmom. There are a lot of factors that come in with dating someone with a child. You have to deal with scheduling babysitters swapping weekends being very flexible to last-minute changes . You also have to make it a point to speak to the baby’s mom and establish rules. Ask what she feels comfortable with, obviously you wouldn’t discipline her child but just knowing like is he allergic to anything? Who should I call in case of emergency? Is there a specific pediatrician I should have the number to? When you’re just starting to get to know someone the last thing you really want is to add in a new relationship with their ex and current child. Other guys will lie about smaller things. In their profile that they do not drink or smoke but then post multiple pictures of themselves drinking and smoking. Which then makes you wonder if they just mean they only drink and smoke socially or are those the only pictures they had of themselves? Or are they just not telling the truth.

Black woman, curly hair, beautiful, Fenty Summer Face, pink polka dot, Abercrombie and fitch, gray doorway
Me, when thirsty dudes want me to meet them in the middle of a Public health crisis. #6feet

As I’ve gotten to know various guys I’ve made it a point to tell them that I am an actor usually by day two of our conversations. They’ll ask what I’ve been up to and I’ll tell them I’ve sent out my self- tapes. I have since there have been so many great open casting calls with casting directors and certain network television shows. Some have taken it well. Others I could tell were immediately annoyed because to them that means I will not permanently live In Georgia. Personally, I don’t think I want to live in Georgia long term, and I’ve made a point to say that in a couple years I would probably want to move. I’ve also had some guys make comments about how actors do sex scenes and not understanding that we have a protocol for staging them and that actors do not actually have literal pornographic sex with each other contrary to popular belief. If you’re confused about this see my or a blog post on intimacy here. I think part of this is also just because Georgia is notoriously conservative even though there are tons of guys here on the down-low if you know what I mean. Who is not being completely honest with themselves their partners or their families.

5. The insecure one is the guy that when you don’t message him back within 30 minutes will send you 3 heys. He’s also the type that will mention family problems two lines into a conversation. When you send back your empathy and mentioning how you know therapy is really great and helpful to work through things. They get defensive and say they don’t need therapy. When therapy is great! Everyone should go to therapy. It is a great way to talk through situations and have learned how to cope with the different things that happened to us in life. They will then backtrack and say oh I’ve been in therapy before that was really helpful.

The main thing I’ve noticed from all the different dudes I’ve met on Hinge is that they’re all are very quick to want to meet you. Everyone wants to meet you in person even though we’re literally in the middle of a public health crisis. I cannot tell you how many times I have said no we can talk on soon Zoom or the phone. In response, the guy will whine about how this could go on for months. How are we ever going to meet? We might as well just do it now. I respond with the fact that I’m not willing to risk my health for the sake of meeting someone that I could meet over FaceTime until it’s safe. If we truly are meant to be then our personalities should click through FaceTime. I really don’t see what the big deal would be about waiting another month and a half just see each other in person. The blatant disregard for health tells me that most of those guys just want sex. The ones that I have Zoomed with I’ve noticed we don’t really talk after. I think we could both tell that there wasn’t really a connection. In one case the guy picked the time for us to do the call then was two hours late to do it. He had decided to go to the grocery store instead but didn’t text me to give me a heads up. I didn’t even mention that he was late to the call I just asked if he was okay since he usually texted me pretty frequently.  He then spent the entire Zoom call putting up his dishes and looking so pissed off. It was very obvious from the call that our personalities are not compatible. I’m definitely more extroverted but can handle being alone since I am an only child. He on the other hand clearly needs to be around his friends 24/7, because he mentioned doing multiple virtual happy hours and walks with them throughout the day. Even though he is an introvert and describes himself as stoic.

Overall dating during the quarantine has taught me that there are some decent guys out there. It is a lot easier to weed out all the bad guys, without having to sit through a 2-hour dinner wondering if you should ask the waiter for the bill. Debating if you should text him later that you don’t see this going anywhere or saying it to his face at dinner. This has been a much quicker way to immediately say no to the people that shouldn’t be in your life and say yes to getting to know the people who are meant to be there. Have any of you tried dating during the quarantine? What has your experience been like?

9 Ways to Keep your Mental Health in Check

Keri Elaine Ocean views Caribbean Tulum, Mexico Vacation. Peace tranquility mental health. Birthday trip!

This past October 10th was Mental Health Awareness day. With the weather changing, and the holidays rapidly approaching it really made me think about ways to keep your mental health in check. 

1.    Call a friend who makes you feel understood. We all have that one friend or loved one we can be completely honest with. We can talk about our financial struggles, memories of carefree times, or our goals for the future. Reach out to that person to schedule a time to talk for an hour and genuinely listen to each other. Every time I do this I feel ready to go out and kick ass.

2.    Go for a walk at lunch. I do this literally every day. So many people sit at their desks all day and it can make the day feel like one long florescent light dream. Going for a walk in the middle of the day clears your head and makes the second half of the workday fly by.

3.    Journal. Sometimes you just need to write out what is bothering you. Then you can rip it up, burn it or throw it away. Whatever you need to feel relieved. 

4.    Talk to a therapist! Check your benefits at work, some offices include a certain number of therapy sessions for free or a smaller fee of 35 dollars a session. There are therapy apps like Better Help that have online counselors you can message. 

5.    Pray. When in doubt the good old Serenity prayer is always a favorite of mine. When you relinquish your struggles to God you instantly feel lighter. For My yoke is easy, my burden light – Matthew 11:30.

6.    Work out! Endorphins make you happy and happy people don’t kill their husbands. 

Credit to giphy
Credit to giphy

7.    Laugh. Watch a comedy show, read old memes you saved in your phone, Youtube stand up comedy or old episodes of Ridiculousness. Whatever will make you laugh.

8. Take a day off of work and do something you love. Treat yourself to a baseball game, a new art exhibition or something as simple as your favorite sandwich.

9.    Remember that all feelings are temporary. Joy, sadness, feeling blah. It is all temporary which is great because you can change it!

What are some things you do to stay mentally healthy? 

Intimacy: is it an Important Part of Acting in Film and Television?

Savage X Fenty Teddy in Purple Keri Elaine.com
Wearing Savage x Fenty

I joined a phenomenal new acting studio back in April. This has been the most supportive and fulfilling acting experience I have ever had in my life. The last time I felt this challeged and secure was my sophomore year in high school. This studio thinks completely outside the box and has a way of challenging and transforming actors. This past week’s acting class was about intimacy

A word that can strike fear in the hearts of many an actress. Why you might ask? While we make a career out of being emotionally vulnerable in front of the camera, the thought of being physically exposed as well can be emotionally draining, exhausting and terrifying. All you can think is ugh, now I have to bear my soul and potentially my body to 60+ crew members made up of, make up, hair, AD, grip, producers and ect.

Since you often have a lot of people around when filming, even on a “closed set” which should only have crucial crew members. Our fabulous instructor took the time to ask us what we feel comfortable showing? Nothing? Your butt, side boob or topless? It was interesting to hear each woman’s opinion on what she feels okay with sharing to the world depending on if it seriously supports the characters development and arc throughout the series or not. We all agreed that the amount of topless nudity just for the sake of being topless in film and television is absurd. There are so many bro movies out there that just have women topless for the sake of adding sex to the film while all the men are fully dressed and the women only have two lines. There should be some criteria for if the role has to have nudity, or inplied nudity to support the character.

If it was a series regular or guest star reoccurring role; then it would be worth it for the screen time. If the character grew up being a tomboy, runs her own entrepreneurial businesses, surfs or is a total hippie; then it would fit the character more. Some surfers are comfortable running around pretty much naked, which we the audience could believe. Still we discussed how to choreograph a scene much like we would in stage combat for fight scenes or a dance for a musical number. While intimacy coordinators are becoming more popular you can not rely on them/every set to have your best interest at heart. There is a huge learning curve right now and some directors are more cautions of assisting the scene because of the #metoo movement. Most of the time they expect the actors to figure out the intimacy scenes on set on their own. So we women (and men) need to take intitive to choreograph the scene ahead of time with our friend or scene partner. Making sure to cover what we do not feel comfortable showing, but offer an alternative. Of course which body parts are being shown of camera is discussed and negotiatied before we have even accepted the role and set foot on set.

My favorite part of the class was seeing how beautiful it is to be powerful and in control of your body. Seeing each set of scene partners play both roles (the class is all women and we each took turns playing the man and the woman in the scene), take tips on how to help your guy partner in the scene. How to break the ice when this could be your first day and scene with your partner. How badass it is to be confident because confidence is the sexiest thing you on and off camera.

8 Signs of a Hype-man

Hello Beautiful people!

Now that you’ve found yourself on this post you are probably thinking what is a Hype-man? Well in the past it was a hip hop singer who tries to get the audience excited about the performance. However here in Atlanta (the rap capital of the world) a Hype-man is another word for people who are pretending to be bigger and more successful than they are. This could be in the music, film or fitness community. These are also they type of people who try to get you to join their MLM (Multi Level Marketing) scheme. Talking about how quickly you can make money through selling leggings, weight loss coffee, tea and vegan supplements.

  1. They post frequently on Social media about the big project they have coming. I’m talking everyday, for weeks at a time 3 stories and a minimum of 2 feed post about a BIG PROJECT COMING SOON. 
  2. They use phrases like, “ya’ll better support me now, cause I’m about to blow up.” Or “Feel free to sign up now to be the first to get my newsletter so you can get on my level.” 
  3. However, when the day of the big project comes there is nothing to be revealed. If you ask about it you get blocked.
  4. They post casting calls stating they cannot pay you now, but will pay you, after they sell the series to a major network. Even though they have no connections to a network studio and can’t even afford to provide food or water on set for their actors and crew. Which is a requirement of all sets. 
  5. They talk about certain music studios, movies and celebrities like they are best friends with them. Then when you Google the movie they claimed to be in or the music studio they claimed to record a song with a certain rapper at, you can’t find their name or evidence that the rapper ever visited there. 
  6. When they say they were in a specific movie role as a lead with an A list actor, but then you can’t even find them on the listing of the film on IMDB or Deadline.com. The two reputable film sites for announcing television and film information. 
  7. They mention always being on set and are posting photos from crafty. Instead of focusing on their work, line changes, stage combat or intimacy choreography like most working actors would. 
  8. You support them by liking their post asking if they need help with anything, but you never see any of the footage, or music. Just an endless stream of lifestyle selfies and request for you to follow their fan page on Facebook.

Have you ever encountered any Hype-men? If so do watch from a distance or just ignore them all together?

Casting Sites Every Actor Should be On

Keri Bruner beautiful teeth commercial headshot

As an actor, things have changed so much over the past ten years. Before you could Google “commercial or film auditions in (insert metropolis here)” and you would get a list of auditions. The posting would include when, where, what time, an email address and a contact number. Your agent would send you auditions to go to as well. You would either schedule a time slot to audition or show up and wait, cattle call style. You get your sides there or before. Bring multiple copies of your headshot with your resume stapled to the back and go dazzle the casting folks!

Today you need to be on casting sites. On each of these sites, you should have your headshots, demo reel, sizing, contact information for yourself and agency.

  • Headshots – You need two headshots at the very least. One commercial headshot which should show you in a cheerful friendly way. Think friendly and approachable, and the other is your theatrical headshot. This shot should show no teeth and have a serious expression. You want to show your range as an actor and your personality.
  • Demo Reel – This should be made up of the best clips of your on-camera performances in film, tv and commercial work in less than 90 seconds. If you only have enough powerful moments for 30 to 45 seconds that is completely fine! 90 seconds is the max, two minutes can feel longer than you think.
  • Slate shot – A Slate shot is a short clip of you stating your name. Actors Access does a great job of showing slate shot examples here. The purpose is to show your personality and give the casting director an idea of what your voice sounds like.
  • Sizing – Grab a measuring tape, because you will need to list your chest, waist, hips, and sometimes inseam. Your weight, height, shoe size, and hat size as well.

Once you have a profile set up on these sites, you read through the breakdowns and submit your headshot, demo reel, resume and size to be considered for an audition. If the casting person thinks you fit the description they send you a link to sides for the audition for a self-tape and request a slate shot. Then they will hire you based on your self-tape and slate shot, or they will bring you into the casting office for a callback. Finally, you wait to hear if you got the job or silence.

If you want more experience for your demo reel, you should check with your local universities film and communications departments. These students often have multiple film projects to work on during the school year and need actors. The work will usually be unpaid, but you gain experience, and IMBD credit if they submit their work to a film festival.

Actors Access. This is one of the main casting sites. The site gives you the option of checking breakdowns for the Los Angeles, New York, Vancouver, Eastern Canada, Southeast U.S., Florida, Texas, Chicago, the Northwest and more. You can look at breakdowns for each specific region or just select all breakdowns fit for me. Actors Access also allows you to add a video clip from each project you worked on to your resume page. It is an extra charge but looks incredibly professional if you have the means to do it. If you are looking for theatre work there are casting calls for national tours on here as well.

 

Screen Shot 2018-05-02 at 11.29.15 PM
Just the top half of the breakdown list on Actors Access

 

Casting Networks. Fox is casting exclusively through Casting Networks, which was formerly known as LA Casting. This site has network tv auditions for principal roles, featured roles and commercials. There are also theatre and student films on Casting Networks. One thing I love about this casting site is they list if the job is paying, how much and the type. So you know how much you are going to make, and if it is a commercial or short film before you even open the casting call.

 

Screen Shot 2018-05-02 at 11.32.59 PM
This shows this commercial is paying on the SAG scale and was posted on May 1st.

 

IMDbPro. Internet Movie DatabasePro is perfect for when you have a couple of professional credits under your belt. A lot of the castings on here will say for name talent. Meaning a well know actor, someone people will recognize on the screen. I do not think the ranking system or “STARmeter” matters much to casting directors, but they do want to see professional credits under your name. The STARmeter just tells producers and casting who is most popular currently or most likely has a project coming out. When you pay for IMDb pro, you also can see a list of talent agencies, contact information, message boards, projects in preproduction and ongoing.

 

Blvgari and Lavender for Spring

Hello beautiful people!

I am so sorry I have been away from you for so long. If you follow me on Instagram you probably noticed I have been to New Orleans and London in my time away from you. I plan on doing an upcoming review on those two fabulous cities and a post on how to take a great headshot! I talked to a casting agent about the ins and outs of headshots and what casting agents see when they look at certain ones. I am going to try and post twice a week so bear with me. Tuesday and Thursday are going to be my new posting days. Without further ado let’s get into get into one of my favorite spring colors and gorgeous souvenir from London!

Atlanta street style and graffiti with black ankle boots and a lavender dressAtlanta street style and graffiti with black ankle boots, bvlgari sunglasses and a lavender dress

When I think of spring colors mint, fuchsia and lavender always come to mind. This lavender shift dress is from Francesca’s!  (If you are interested in checking it out you can click the highlighted Francesca’s affiliate link). Usually, I would not find this shape flattering for my body type. Shift dresses normally make my chest look even larger and create a maternity mumu affect. I loved the color so much I decided to ignore my anti shift dress prejudice and try it on. Luckily the scalloping keyhole and racer back combination made this dress incredibly flattering! Racerback tops and keyholes are always more flattering when you have a large chest. People think you should wear a high neck, but I always disagree V-necks and keyholes are always more flattering than a crew neck top.

IMA2

I was in London earlier this month the weather was a little chiller than their typical April, but I really wanted to wear this dress. So I put black tights underneath, my black ankle boots and my friend’s black motorcycle jacket to make this look a little edger. Sadly I did not take a picture that day, because of all the rain and time we spent laughing/catching up on one another lives. Luckily the weather was lovely in Atlanta so I got to take these photos!

Beautiful girl with blvgari sunglasses 2018 Atlanta street style in lavender

I’m not usually one to spend a ton on sunglasses, but I fell in love with these while in London and got them at a discount plus VAT so I HAD to do it. I am now the proud owner of these cat eye Bvlgari Serpenti sunglasses. I circled the Sunglass store about ten times and kept coming back to these light rose gold mirrored sunglasses. The thing I love about Bvgari is their attention to detail. The pinkish purple around the frame and the white that mirrors the appearance of a snake is stunning in person. I’ve worn these sunglasses so much in the last two weeks and every time people stop me to tell me how gorgeous they are and I have to agree. I have not seen anything similar and I love that it is a modern take on the cat eye.

Beautiful girl with blvgari sunglasses 2018 Atlanta street style in lavender with colorful graffiti

Here is a close up of these Blvgari sunglasses spring 2018 collection

Blvgari sunglasses spring 2018 collection, snake and cat eye shape

Blvgari sunglasses spring 2018 collection with snake hexagon detail
White snake detail on the bridge of these Bvlgari sunglasses.

I have missed you all and cannot wait to catch up with you! What colors come to your mind when you think of spring?

Valentine’s Day

First and foremost Happy Valentine’s Day darlings! I think Valentine’s Day is a beautiful reminder to appreciate the ones you love. Even if that means just calling them to say two things you love about them.

Red Abercrombie and Fitch dress and off white tufted chair

I picked up this fabulous off the shoulder side tie red dress from Abercrombie and Fitch.  Which is on sale btw! This looks completely different than the Abercrombie and Fitch I worked at eight years ago, so shout out to their new buyer this linen dress is so beautiful!

Red Abercrombie and Fitch dress and off white tufted studded chair

I recently finished reading a book called The Light We Lost by Jill Santopolo and it made me rethink my perspective on love. At one point in life I thought love was very black and white. Now I know there are tons of gray areas with love. Times where you are so drawn to someone that it is entirely magnetic and other times when you just get butterflies. Then just complete admiration for another person. You can read some of the reviews here to get a good summary. By nature I am a complete hopeless romantic. I love nothing more than great conversation, when a guy plans out a unique date and remembers the little things I even forgot I said. This always shocks my friends, because I’m often single and dating longer than I am in a relationship. I’ll be honest with you all, it’s because I have been afraid of commitment. Why? When I am in a relationship I am one hundred percent invested in my person. I use every spare minute I have to do what my guy wants, shop for the perfect birthday gift for him, plan a party, hang out with his friends and sometimes his family. The thing is in the past this has not been reciprocated. My ex’s have often been insecure due to rumors their “friends” made up, comments about me being out of their league or allowed their families to dictate who they can date and make racist remarks to me. The only thing I wanted was quality time with my man, who loves and trust me unconditionally and would stick up for me with his family/friends.

Red Abercrombie and Fitch dress, long brown hair and off white tufted studded chair

This past year I have taken the time to completely fall head over heels in love with myself. I have planned trips, taken acting classes, laughed with old friends over lunch, gone to viewing parties for my fellow actors, had drinks with some interesting people and honestly loved every minute of it. Ironically I had a four-hour conversation with a stranger about love, life, and marketing. Our conversation basically reminded me that through everything, I still completely believe in love. The kind that is patient, magnetic, passionate, selfless and comes when you are completely happy with where you are in life.

Laughing in a Red Abercrombie and Fitch dress and off white tufted studded chair

This year my Valentine is my fur baby who loves me unconditionally and I am completely fine with that! Do you think there are different types of love?

Red Abercrombie and Fitch dress and side ties with a grey cat

 

Golden Globes and Why it is Necessary to Wear Black Now

75th Golden Globe Award

Women in Black for the Time's Up initiative at the Golden Globes Viola Davis Gal
Photo credit Vanity Fair

The 75th Golden Globe’s was a complete blackout. Usually the red carpet is full of vibrant colorful dress, suits and accessories. This year MOST celebrities showed up wearing all black. I have never been so proud to see this industry unite with Time Magazine for the Times Up initiative. A few celebrities opted to bring sexual assault activist as their dates. Why now, you might ask? Why now are all these people coming forward about sexual assault after being silent for so long? Why is Hollywood speaking up now and listening to activist? The climate we are living now. I’ve had this debate with a family friends dads who know I am actively working to be apart of the film and television industry. I pointed out to them that women have been harassed forever, but we often do not come forward because we are belittled and slut-shamed. What were you wearing? Are you sure you didn’t want the attention? Did you drink? How much were drinking? Why were you alone? Well did you lead him on? Are you sure you didn’t want it? Well were you a virgin? How many partners have you had? Well what did you think was going to happen?

None of these questions justify the perpetrator’s behavior. No one has the right to touch you or make a sexual advance to you without your permission. I believe the reason why Times Up has become a huge movement in Hollywood now, is because of our current president. To have a political election where one candidate is over-qualified for the position has decades of experience as a politician and public servant consistently answers all question about what they would do if elected. The other candidate belittles reporters with disabilities, ignores questions, does not submit their taxes, does not resign from their companies, has been accused of sexual assault, is currently being sued for sexual assault and harassment by multiple women. Then, is quoted saying, “grab ‘em by the pussy” wins over the over-qualified female candidate. This tells women they are not equal, they are not important and they do not have control over their own bodies. Add the lack of equal pay and well you’ve completely handicapped an entire sex.

The 75th Golden Globes has been the most powerful because they did not try to sweep the uncomfortable elephants in the room under the rug. Jokes were made using Harry Weinstein and Kevin Spacey names, calling them out for their crimes. Natalie Portman also pointed out that in the director category only men were nominated (even though there have been many great female-directed films and tv shows this year). Debra Messing called out E! for lack of equality – in reference to paying Jason significantly more than Catt Sadler. Oprah accepted the Cecil B DeMille Award and gave the most eloquent speech since Obama was in office. My hope is that this momentum will continue and all workplaces will promote a safe, respectful, equal pay environment we all are owed. I can not wait for the day women and men do not have to say #metoo Did you watch the Golden Globes? If so do you think the blackout showed unity or just a fashion statement?

Merry Christmas!

Hello, darlings!

Scrabble Christmas letters

I know I have been away way to long. I just wanted to say Merry Christmas!

To me, Christmas has always been about the joy of spreading kindness to others. Whether that is buying gifts for Christmas Angels through the Salvation Army, holding open the door for others or tipping your fabulous server 50 percent of the bill. This time of year so many people get caught up in the gifts I think its important to reflect on doing something kind for others.  Two scriptures to remember this time of year.

A reminder of unconditional love and sacrifice

John 3:16 

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

A reminder that patience and kindness is free, something we should all aim to practice year round.

1 Timothy 1:15-16

 “15 Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. 
16 But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life.” 

So I hope your Christmas was filled with love, joy and laughter!

Feel free to check out my Instagram !

 

 

Four Things to Remember When Pursuing Your Dreams

Girl looking through Asian inspired zen garden art. Circular windows and a beautiful woman

Hello beautiful people!

I apologize for being M.I.A., I have been rehearsing for a showcase, updating my resume, getting my costumes together and such. I just realized yesterday (October 31st) makes two years since I left South Florida (to pursue my dreams of becoming an actress) and drove out to Los Angeles. The drive itself took about three days, but that’s a story for another time!

Two years later I am still pursuing acting now in Atlanta. I am proud to say I don’t regret going to Los Angeles. I have some great connections out there and am more familiar with a variety of areas in Los Angeles.

Four things I have learned over the past two years about pursuing your dreams.

1. God laughs when you make plans.

Meaning everyone always says you need a plan. While a plan is important you also need to be flexible. I am a firm believer in walking by faith. Every time I said, “Lord I am going to let your will be done. Please guide my path in neon lights so I know which way to go because I am completely blind!” As a result, he has always provided a way. Even when I was freaking out and down to my last ten bucks a job opportunity would appear and a new opportunity to work in the film industry would arrive.

2. Moving is a great way to find out who your real friends are.

Often times we make friendships of convenience. Sometimes it’s a friend we grew up with, lived near or ate lunch with so we wouldn’t have to sit alone in the cafeteria. Sadly every friendship is not for a lifetime. That does not mean this person was not important to you it just means you each grew into different people, with contrasting views of the world and probably could not agree to disagree. Looking back I realize a friend who never celebrates your victories is not a friend. A true friend is shouting from the rooftops all your accomplishments along with you. Instead of belittling your accomplishments and then expecting you to celebrate their own. When I moved my friends constantly tagged me in Memes on Instagram, called, texted and help reach out to any connections they had. These people are part of my tribe. I have continued to keep in touch with them even through different time zones. I’d like to thank Instagram DM messages and WhatsApp voice recordings for keep my group and I connected.

3. Ignore the naysayers

There will always be people to play devils advocate. Misery loves company and sometimes other people are afraid to pursue their dreams so they will try to hold you back from yours. You have to live your life for you. You only get ONE make it count!

4. When Plan A doesn’t work make another Plan A.

Put your heart into Plan A. Think of every possible negative and positive outcome. Then think about why you want to pursue this. Is it because other people told you too? Is it because you actually want to jump out of bed in the morning to pursue this industry? Or is it for financial gain? Is this your passion? Would you do it for free for a little bit, if it meant turning into a long-term career? Next evaluate each method, select the best and execute it as plan A. After all the A stands for Astonishing. Definition: Extremely surprising or impressively amazing. Because when you achieve your dreams everyone will stare at you in astonished silence, because that is exactly what you are, astonishing.