How to Gain Confidence in Five Steps

How to Boost Your Confidence

Hello beautiful humans!

Keri Elaine Confidence

I talked to my friend this weekend on facetime and she mentioned this time period really made her realize how much she wishes she was more confident. She admitted she always wanted to be an actor but never had the confidence. I was stunned. She is brilliant and thrived in college, is quick-witted, well dressed, always helping others, and is genuinely beautiful from the inside out. She told me she always envied my confidence. The fact that I would try new things and take chances like moving to LA after college to chase my dreams. I told her I just always visualized what I wanted and tried to go actively to achieve my vision. Here are my 5 tips for boosting your self-confidence.

First, let’s start with the definition of confidence.

Confidence -Noun. The feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust. A feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.

Smiling face and red dress


You have to learn to trust yourself. This one is the most crucial because it is the deepest rooted issue. We all have various beliefs about ourselves. Some beliefs have been projected onto us by friends and family members who have made rude comments in passing. The other beliefs come from the way we view ourselves. One exercise you can try is to write down 12 negative things about you other people have said. I’m talking the ugly cruel comments like, you’d be pretty if it weren’t for that awful nose, you’re not as smart as your brother, you’re a selfish bitch, etc. Then write down 12 negative beliefs you have said to yourself. For example, I will never be good enough to be a lawyer, I am not pretty enough to approach that guy, I am not creative enough to do x. Then write down 12 positive things you love about yourself. I love my laugh, I love my eyes, I love my compassion for others, I love my butt, I love my smile, I love my quick wit. Then write down 12 things other people have complimented you on. It could be that you are always there for a friend in need, you hold the door open for other people, you have a beautiful energy, that you are a good person, you have a great singing voice etc. Take the negative beliefs you wrote down about yourself and what others have told you and rip it up. These words have no control over you anymore. You are not ugly, you are unique, gorgeous and one of a kind. You are not stupid; you just think and see the world in a completely different way than they do. That does not make their way better or your way wrong, it’s merely a difference of opinion.


Limit the number of people you allow to speak into your life.

You should have two people you love, who know you better than anyone who can give you their honest opinion on anything. These two people should know your dreams and what you are wanting to accomplish in life. They are your sounding board. When you start to have a down day and spiral into negative self-talk, you should reach out to them. They are the ones who will remind you of what you have accomplished, (hey even the little things count like the spelling bee you won in 3rd grade).


Replace the negative comments in your mind with positive ones.

When the negative thought and self-doubt come into your mind dismiss them. Replace them with positive I am statements. For example, if you are about to give a presentation and think I am going to suck, I am going to mess up, everyone is going to laugh at me. I want you to yell in your head NO! I am not nervous I am EXCITED for this AMAZING opportunity to show off how smart I am. I am not going to mess up I am going to THRIVE. No one is going to laugh at me, everyone is here to support me and learn from me because I am knowledgeable.



Take the time to research things you are interested in, sign up for news sites you trust, listen to audiobooks or watch the Discovery channel. Never stop learning. Knowledge will expand your mind and give you the ability to talk about various topics to anyone. If you want to be an actor, then research studios you can train at like Top Actor Studio, books, listen to podcast check out my blog post on the top sites actors should be on. If you do not feel confident about public speaking research the topic you are speaking on so well that you become an expert. Make sure that you are through and can answer the majority of the questions your audience could potentially ask. If you don’t know the answer tell that person you are not sure but will research, it and get back to them or point them in the direction of a specialist. The secret to confidence is to be knowledgeable and not wing it through life.


Be comfortable in your own skin

You have to learn that you are enough. Even if that means writing on your bathroom mirror empowering affirmations and reciting them in your head while you brush your teeth. You are uniquely you. Your fingerprints are one of a kind. you are one of a kind. OWN THAT. Love what makes you different, being like everyone else is exhausting and boring. Owning who you are makes you interesting. You are exceptional! No one can tell your story, but you.


Live your life for yourself never apologize for owning who you are. Own your space.

5 thoughts on “How to Gain Confidence in Five Steps

Leave a Reply